We Can Find Value In Life When Everything Feels Pointless

Dear you,  

When we feel like life is pointless, it can be easy to believe that we are alone in feeling this way. The truth is, many of us may feel this way at some point in our lives. This can be for different reasons. Maybe we have become tired of the tedium of the everyday tasks, or we feel that what we are doing is not adding value to our lives, or the lives of those around us. Perhaps we are feeling completely overwhelmed by the circumstances we are in. 

It can seem like life is pointless when our circumstances feel particularly difficult. Perhaps we have lost something important, like a loved one, relationship or job. We may be in a job we don’t like or we might not have the time or energy to muster up interest in the things we usually enjoy. Or, maybe our lives just feel a little stagnant and we don’t know how to invite in the changes that we need. 

Please know, you are not alone in feeling this way, and this is not a feeling that will last forever, even if it may feel that way right now. There are things we can do to restore our sense of enjoyment, and our sense of worth. There are people we can talk to who have felt this way too in the past and who can help us find value in life again. And, there are organisations that can help us, too.

We may feel numb to the things that used to bring pleasure. It can be difficult to believe things could ever get better when the future feels so bleak. We may feel guilty that our problems aren’t ‘big’ enough, and other people seem to cope well with so much more. When we feel this way, we tend to avoid confiding in others, and the negative emotions begin to spiral. 

This is when it becomes extremely important to be kind to ourselves. We are not alone in feeling this way, and we don’t need to feel guilty for how we are feeling. We deserve support. We deserve to find meaning and fulfilment again. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even if we can’t see it just now. And, there are steps we can take to move past our feelings of pointlessness. It can be helpful, especially if each step feels impossible, to share how we feel with people we trust, so that we have support we can lean into when we’re struggling to move forward.

There are things we can do to support ourselves and restore our enjoyment of life, however, we may need additional support on top of these steps to help us move past these difficult emotions. It is important when we are feeling this way to seek help from friends, family and local mental health services. If the use of these services feels overwhelming, there are text services available such as SHOUT where a text of ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 will initiate a text conversation and is available 24/7. There are fantastic online services that we can use too, such as Minding Your Head or Mind. 

If we are finding this period of life so difficult that we are experiencing suicidal thoughts, we must seek help right away. We can utilise our local medical teams and emergency services. Samaritans can be contacted 24/7 by calling 116 123 or using the SHOUT service mentioned above on 85258. There is help out there for us, and there is hope, even when we feel like we are completely in the dark. The right support is out there to lead us out of the darkness.

If we have sought the support we need, we can start assessing the additional steps we may be able to take to help us move towards seeing life as valuable again. It is important not to overwhelm ourselves with too many big steps before we are ready. 

Feeling like life is pointless can make what may not have felt like a huge task in the past suddenly feel mammoth. Things like getting out of bed, making ourselves breakfast and taking a shower might have previously felt so routine and straightforward, that we hardly thought about them. Today, it might be that those same tasks feel insurmountable.

It can sometimes be helpful to break down our day into bite-sized chunks. Taking everything one small chunk at a time allows us to check in with ourselves before moving on to the next. It’s important that we acknowledge each step forward for the accomplishment that it is. As small as they may seem when we are in a good mental space, completing these tasks when we are struggling with feelings of hopelessness is no mean feat.

In the same way that it is important to celebrate our small steps, we need to remember not to beat ourselves up for any tasks we haven’t been able to complete. We must be careful not to assign too much importance to tasks that aren’t all that significant. The kids’ toys can stay on the floor a while longer, and we don’t have to spend hours making an elaborate meal just because this was something we loved to do previously. It is important that we try to be as honest as we can with ourselves about what truly matters, and reserve whatever energy we have for the tasks that will truly make a difference to us.

If there is something we enjoy doing that may help us regain our sense of purpose and self, it can help to save our energy for that activity. We may decide to reinvest in an old hobby like a sport, music or art. There might even be something new that we have always wanted to try that might provide us with direction and reignite a sense of meaning. 

Something that we could look into, if we feel up to it, is volunteering. This might sound like a scary prospect to us, particularly if we struggle with social anxiety or we haven’t had a volunteer role before, but there may be roles out there that we can do from home that aren’t socially demanding. Organisations like NCVO or Reach Volunteering support people to find the perfect volunteering match. 

Perhaps our sense of hopelessness comes from a lack of what our everyday lives entail. If we are unhappy in our careers, we could question why and look into how our jobs could be adapted to provide us with a greater sense of fulfilment. Even just starting the process of seeking another job can provide us with a new sense of direction and purpose, or enable us to recognise the parts of our job that we would miss or have a particular aptitude for. 

It may be frustration with feelings of the mundane. The everyday tasks seem never-ending and thankless. We often find that our arguments with our partners or children are due to feeling that there is a lack of appreciation for everything we do and the time it takes. We get frustrated with the feeling that other people in our lives are not sharing their load of the burden. They seem to cope better, find more time for enjoyment and experience the load less fully. 

It is important to talk to those around us about how we are feeling and to do this in a way where we are not extending blame. We may find that those closest to us will want to step in to support us and give us more time to do things for ourselves. 

There are services and support out there to support our mental health. Whether this is going to a local medical team, a mental health charity or speaking to friends and family, reaching out for support is a helpful first step we can take towards overcoming feelings of hopelessness. There are changes we can make, and people we can talk to, to help us restore a deeper sense of value in life. We can find enjoyment in life again. 

Life might feel pointless right now, but it won’t always feel this way. On those days you wake up and don’t know how you’ll make it through, try to think back to all of the difficult times you’ve made it through before, even when you didn’t see how you possibly would. 

Despite it all, you’re still here. And that’s a testament to how resilient you are.  

With love,

The Blurt team x

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