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Going through depression will always be the hardest thing I’ve been through, but it’ll always be the thing that made me mature and grow stronger.
I’ve suffered with depression for the last. 1-2 years. It started at the beginning of my GCSEs and it was a really tough time and then I recovered, and decided to use my story to inspire another girl out there who was going through the same thing and I never wanted another person out there I go through what I went through, to feel alone, and not seek help. So, I decided to publish my story in Shout magazine’s Be You-nique Confidence Campaign. It was tough being open about depression, but I wanted to make a difference.
Then, I relapsed in February after going through a really bad breakdown spending Chrismas, New Year’s Day and my 16th birthday in tears and depressed and had to cancel my Sweet 16 birthday party. I then, at 16 had to make the decision to put myself on medication which was the toughest decision I ever had to make in my life. At 16, I shouldn’t even be making decisions like that – I always thought the biggest decision I’d make at 16 was what dress I was going to wear to prom or how I wanted to spend my summer!
A lot of people think that going on medication for depression is a coward’s way out and isn’t dealing with your issues properly. I don’t think that all – to be honest, medication doesn’t magically cure depression. It’s not like some magical happy pill. I still have to work hard everyday with recovery by undergoing therapy sessions, keeping healthy, managing stress and keeping fit.
I love running early in the mornings. I literally love getting up at 6am and starting my day running. I’ve just started running two miles every morning to help me recover from depression and to help keep me focused during exam season
It is so therapeutic, I love waking up, and energizing my body running and watching the sun come up and peacefully running through my neighborhood enjoying the scenery. It just calms me down and relaxes me of all anxiety and I just release all that negative energy and replace it with endorphins to start my day by running.
Not only have I noticed I’m losing weight – I’m a lot calmer, more awake throughout the day and have so much more energy because of running in the mornings. And I get so much more school work done and manage the stresses in my life because I have a clearer mind set from running
Depression will never define who I am; I’m not a disorder, illness, an emo or a weakness. Fair enough, it is something in my life that has affected me greatly and that will be always be a part of my life. But, it will never define who I am as a person.
My actions that I take to deal with it and overcome it; whether it’s recovering or how I deal with stigma is what defines me. My outlook and perspective is what determines what will happen to me and the actions I’m going to take. It’s what I do with my experiences and how I deal with them everyday is what defines me.
I now run a blog called Run Therapy (runtherapy.tumblr.com) where I blog about my personal journey of recovery,fitness,health and well being. I find it so amazing I have over 1000 followers I inspire just by talking about my personal journey, and is so rewarding to turn all those negatives into positives. Through my blog I got to speak to my inspiration, Demi Lovato and she told me “Your health comes first, ’cause without it you can’t accomplish anything”
And now I am in training to run half a marathon to raise money for the Blurt Foundation in October, which I’m nervous about but very exciting! And replanning my Sweet 16 birthday party as Demi says, “Recovery is worth celebrating”
“I live to inspire, I think that’s kind of what makes recovery worth it and God’s purpose for me in life, so God inspires me everyday
I still have nights I cry myself to sleep, I still have days I don’t believe in myself, I still have times when I fear the future and I still have moments I feel hopeless
But, I’m healing and I have a lot of love and support in my life to keep me going…”
If, like Tasha you’d like to get involved in running and be part of an amazing team (even if we say so ourselves), there are still places left on our Thirty Blurters team, click here for more information.